Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Randomize
