I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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