Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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