Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
