i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
