we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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