I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
