I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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