you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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