We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
