you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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