That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
