How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
