guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
