Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
