My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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