Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
