Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
