I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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