i need an iv and a liver transplant
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
