I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize