I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So much Jack, so little girl.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
