I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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