Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
