Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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