I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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