Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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