okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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