may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Randomize
