i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
