I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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