Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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