I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
