Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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