Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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