Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
