Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
