I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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