Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
