drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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