I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
