i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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