just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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