Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
