whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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