Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
