I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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