At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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