I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
