so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
