either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
