dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
