Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
