is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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