My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
