just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
