we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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